


Starting again

by FeeltheBerena



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F, berena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:53:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9356522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeeltheBerena/pseuds/FeeltheBerena
Summary: Bernie and Serena discover that following Elinor's death, they have a series of firsts to live through together.*TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorder discussed in chapter 16*





	1. Saying Goodbye

Bernie took a deep breath and steeled herself for what was about to happen. The metal doors slid open and she heaved the large bag securely onto her shoulder. She knocked at the door, barely aware of how she had got there, and let herself in.

Jason was sat waiting for her in the wheelchair.

“Hi Jason”

“Hi Bernie. Is it time?” Both of them were barely speaking above a whisper, as if they were scared of being heard. There was no risk of that, of course, as everyone knew what was happening today and were keeping a respectful distance.

“It is. I know this is going to be hard, but you need to be prepared for what’s about to happen. Your Auntie loves you dearly, but she might not seem like herself. She’s heartbroken, and angry and has been through an awful time. If she does say anything horrible, I promise you she doesn’t mean it. Grief makes people act strangely. Are you ok?” Bernie was so proud of Jason. Every second that she hadn’t been with Serena, she’d been by Jason’s bedside caring for him, telling him how much his Auntie loved him and explaining in great detail what was happening to his cousin.

“I know, Bernie. I am recovering well, thanks to you. Are you sure it’s not my fault though?” Jason looked scared of Bernie’s answer, as he had heard her answer this question many times in his sleep. He woke up covered in sweat nearly crying when dream-Bernie would answer. He was more surprised when Bernie took his hand and crouched in front of him.

“I promise you, Jason. This wasn’t your fault. Elinor was extremely unlucky to get such severe injuries from such a small collision. Elinor shouldn’t have been in that car because she was upset, and couldn’t concentrate. What happened was just a horrible, horrible accident.” Jason nodded his understanding, and squeezed Bernie’s hand. “Will you be there?” Jason asked, craning his head round to look at Bernie as she began pushing his chair to the lift. “That’s up to your Auntie. If she doesn’t want me there, that’s fine. I’ll still be right outside thinking of you all.” Bernie said, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand as they waited for the lift.

They were both acutely aware of how quiet the ward had gone when they left Jason’s room, and could feel the eyes of all the staff on their backs. The lift finally arrived, and the final sight Jason and Bernie saw before the doors closed was the AAU team, including Raf, all holding hands at the nurses station, sending a small, watery smiles of support at them. Bernie nodded her thanks.

After an eternity had passed, they arrived at the doors of ITU. Bernie squeezed Jason’s shoulder as she wheeled him in. “Remember what I said” she whispered in his ear. Jason nodded, but he had gone pale with terror at what was about to happen. Serena was still at Elinor’s bedside, clutching her hand. She’d barely moved in the last three days, only when necessary, and had been wracked with guilt each time. Edward was standing on the other side of the bed, looking lost and dazed.

Bernie rolled Jason next to Serena, and was about to retreat to the corner when Jason and Serena grabbed her simultaneously. “I need you” Serena’s voice was thick and cracked with tears, was barely recognisable as the beautifully melodic tones Bernie loved. She placed her hands on each of the shoulders, and Serena grasped it with her spare hand for a second, before taking Jason’s. They all remained like this in silence for the next few moments, as Serena silently wept.

She barely contained her howl when the Doctor entered the room, and Bernie took her into her arms and held her tightly as she crumpled in her chair. Serena and Bernie sank to the floor, with Serena held tightly to Bernie’s chest as she stroked her hair. Bernie didn’t bother lying by promising it would be ok, but instead whispered that she was strong, she was brave and Elinor needed her mother now. She promised she would always be there. After a few moments, Serena resumed her watchful position, clinging to Elinor’s hand, as they began.

Edward was first, whispering into his daughter’s ear, sobbing all the time. He now mirrored Serena’s actions, and stroked her face while he spoke, as if he was trying to commit the contours to memory. Jason surprised everyone by heartfeltedly declaring that he loved Elinor regardless of her feelings towards him, and that he would hold her in his heart in the same way he holds his mother. She was a part of his family who loved him with all of his flaws, and he would love and remember her always. Both Serena and Bernie were so touched that they both enveloped him in a tight hug, which he accepted.

Serena was sobbing as she told her darling angel that she would always love her, that she would always be her perfect baby, her perfect miracle. She swore to never, ever forget a single second of her life, that she would always be with her baby in spirit. She promised that her heart would always be devoted to her.

The doctor re-entered the room, saying it was time. Neither Edward nor Serena could look as he switched off the ventilator, with Edward closing his eyes tightly, and Serena burying her face into Bernie’s stomach; both were still holding their child’s hands. All the fights and the hatred that had gone between them slipped away as they both clung to their baby girl as her life slipped away. Jason took Bernie’s hand tightly as she held Serena, all of them needing the familiar touch of their little family.

Hours after Elinor had died, Edward had gone back to Liberty, Jason had been returned to his room where Alan was waiting for him. Only Serena remained, under the watchful gaze of Bernie. Serena was on the bed, holding her child tightly to her, with one hand holding Bernie’s as she sat beside the bed. When the time came for Elinor to be taken away, Bernie and Serena stood in an embrace, watching as her trolley became smaller and smaller as it went down the corridor, until Elinor was gone.

They both spent the night with Jason, telling stories about their Christmas together, what they wished could have happened in the future, remembering Elinor before they all fell asleep.

The next morning, they all returned home, and began to prepare for what life was now.


	2. The First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After switching off Elinor's ventilator, Serena and Bernie must face the first day without her

The silence in the car was deafening. Jason kept nervously glancing at his Auntie, scared that any moment she would cry or scream or run away. But Serena was empty. After she had finally slept for a few fitful hours last night, it was beginning to sink in. Her daughter was gone forever. She would never see her again, never hold her, never tell her that her skirt was too short to leave the house. It was all finished decades before one of them should have had to have said goodbye. It was always supposed to be Elinor who would say a final goodbye to her mother, she could never have imagined a scenario where it was her baby who had gone first, and yet she had. 

Bernie's knuckles were white on the wheel, her nails digging into her palm at every red light just so she could stop herself crying for her love. She had told the kids to stay away, especially Charlotte who was nearly the same age as Elinor, so that she wouldn't upset Serena. Of course, Bernie wanted to see her kids desperately; the second Jason had been hit by the car, all Bernie had wanted to do was call Cam and Lottie and tell them how much she loved them. And then the worst thing in the world had happened to Serena, and she forgot about what she wanted. 

When they finally arrive at the house, Serena was leaning on Bernie as they walked up the drive. It was as if she was sleep walking, as if it was an empty shell walking up her drive away, and Serena Campbell was still holding her daughter's hand as a machine pumped breath into her. Bernie sat her down on the sofa, and set about doing the menial tasks. She made cups of tea, sorted out Jason's pills and started making dinner. It was always Serena who did these things, and they used to joke that Bernie was like her third child, who needed looking after just as much as Ellie and Jason. Serena had yet to say a word, to move. She still wasn't there. She sat like that for the rest of the day. The only way that Bernie and Jason knew that it was her was the occasional sniffing that came from her as she silently cried.

Eventually, it was time to go to bed. She was being led by the hand by Bernie, until she came to Elinor's bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, and she could see the faint glow of fairy lights against the plum walls. She gently pushed on the door and was surrounded by her daughter. Clothes littered the floor where she hadn't been bothered to put them away, the bed was unmade and makeup was scattered across the mattress. Bernie hovered outside, desperate not to intrude on what had been Elinor's sacred space, what was now the most sacred place in the world for Serena. Serena hadn't let go of her hand and was still at the door. She turned to Bernie with tears in her eyes, and tugged at her hand..

'Please. I- I can't do any of this without you' Serena's voice was cracked from crying and lack of use, and sounded foreign, but Bernie squeezed her hand tightly and stood next to her. Together, they sat on the floor by her bed, with Serena resting her head on Bernie's shoulder. They sat like this for a while, until Serena saw something poking out from underneath the duvet. It was Bozy, Elinor's teddy bear. Edward had bought it for her the day after she was born. As a child, she would never go anywhere without it. She could never sleep without it. One night, she had woken up sobbing thinking she had lost him, but Serena had had to put him in the wash. Elinor had been sick on him, but she refused to go to sleep without him. She sat in front of the washing machine watching for the entire cycle, and fell asleep waiting for him to go in the dryer. When she had woken up with him in bed, she was happy again. 

As she held the bear in front of her, remember her daughter's pure devotion, refusing to live without him even as an adult, Serena broke down. She howled and sobbed, clutching the bear to her. Bernie pulled her towards her, cradling her like a child in her lap, stoking her hair, telling her to let it out. In the next room, Jason cried listening to the gut-wrenching sounds of his Auntie, but he thanked the universe for bringing him and Serena Bernie. He knew she was what would help them survive.

Serena cried for hours, until eventually she tired herself out. She fell asleep in Bernie's lap, still clutching the bear. Bernie stared down and was amazed by how Serena looked at once so much older than she was, and yet also like a child. She too fell asleep, staring at Serena in wonderment, amazed at Serena's strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bozy is real. He is actually my teddy, and I still have him now. The story about the washing machine was also true. And things will start to get a bit less depressing after this chapter.


	3. The First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena begin the slow process of healing and becoming intimate again

It was strange. Serena knew it was strange that she was letting Bernie take care of her. With everyone else, she refused. She insisted on doing everything herself, on never showing weaknesses, and that was before Elinor. With Bernie she didn't need to act strong. Bernie made her strong, was what was getting her through.

It had been a week since Elinor had died and Bernie had left Serena for the first time. Jason was taking care of Serena. Bernie hadn't wanted to leave her, had no intention of leaving her. Serena found the message from Morven before she did. Bernie kept on saying that she would ring, would Skype.  Distance meant nothing now.

'That's rubbish and you know it. I would come with you to say goodbye. Cam's a - he's a lovely boy. He's wonderful, as any child-'  _your living, breathing child_ ** _._** Serena couldn't say that Bernie's children were just as wonderful as her, because that hateful thought kept on sneaking in.

'Go and see your son before he leaves because you _can_. You can say goodbye, even though I-' once again, Serena couldn't finish her sentence. This time she broke down in tears, thinking of how she never got to say goodbye to her baby, never even knew she had to until it was far too late. Bernie sat next to Serena and patted her lap.  Still crying, Serena lay her head on her lap and continued to sob. Bernie held her hand, and stroked her hair. She kept on repeating to her the words she needed to hear:  _she knew you loved her_ and  _I'm never leaving you alone._

When Serena's tears finally dried, she took a great sniff, sat up, and squeezed Bernie's knee.

'Off you go, Major. You won't be gone long and both of us would regret it of you didn't see him off. And that is an order. Off you pop'. It was actually the first time Serena had felt any kind of happiness since Elinor's death. She desperately wanted Bernie to have a good relationship with her kids and she knew that Bernie fully appreciated them now in a way she couldn't while she was in service. She wanted Bernie to be a proper mum like she had been. 

An hour later, Bernie came home. Jason and Serena were sat in companionable silence with  _The Chase_ on. Jason switched the show off as soon as Bernie walked in, wanting to hear what was happening with Cam. Bernie explained to him that Cam had left to move to London, but planned to keep in touch with her, as well as Jason and Serena. Jason surprised both Bernie and Serena by taking Bernie into his arms and hugging her tightly, being  careful not to press against his stitches. 

'I hope you don't miss him too much, Bernie. I'm sure he'll talk to you all the time- whenever we talk about you, he's very proud' Bernie flushed with pleasure at this.

'I'm going to go to bed early. I hope both of you sleep well, but I know you'll take care of each other' Jason kissed Serena on the cheek, and once again surprised Bernie by doing the same. When he kissed her, he whispered 'thank you for being here for us'. Bernie was startled by this, but whispered back  _that's what families do._

When Jason had gone upstairs, Bernie relayed her entire conversation with Cam to Serena. She hadn't planned on doing it, had thought it would seem cruel, but Serena had insisted. 

'Bernie, I need you to understand something' Serena took Bernie's hand and ignored the urge to cry. 'I will never, ever resent the fact that your children are alive. I don't want you ignoring them or not talking to them because of me. Yes, my child is gone but yours are here and I want you to make the most of every second with them'  Bernie smiled, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. Even now, Serena amazed her with her grace and good will. She didn't know that Serena was equally amazed by her own, though Bernie would always think of it as her duty, a soldier through and through.

'Bern, I'm so proud of you. I know how hard it is for you to talk about your feelings, to show the kids how you feel. For as long as we've been friends I've wanted this for you, and I truly am happy for you'. 

With this, Serena leaned forward and brushed her lips against Bernie's. It was chaste, more a kiss between friends than lovers, but that's what they would always be: friends before lovers. Bernie pressed a quick kiss to her lips, and took Serena's hand, leading her to the bedroom. There, they lay in an embrace for hours, watching the sun rise together until they finally drifted off into sleep.

 


	4. The first tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So far, she had held it together in the face of the loss of her child and complete heartbreak, but in her exhaustion, the cracks begin to show

Serena was doing as well as could be expected. She woke up in the morning, and slept a little a night. She only ever manages a couple of hours here and there; in her dreams, her daughter was alive. It made her waking hours feel like the nightmare. She ate, but only the bare minimum. Serena was a woman of extravagant tastes, but she limited herself now to bland scraps here and there, as she couldn't taste, couldn't find any pleasure. The daily tasks of living were just Serena going through the motions.

The only kind of happiness and peace she found was in Jason and Bernie. They were both undoubtedly present for her, providing her whatever she needed. Bernie especially. If she needed to cry, Bernie would hold her. If she wanted to sit staring at nothingness, Bernie would sit with her in silence. If she wanted to scream how unfair life was until her throat went raw, Bernie would stand and take ithe,  and give her tea with honey and kisses. When she wanted to numb the pain with bottle after bottle of cheap wine, Bernie would rub her back as she threw up, give her a cold flannel, dress her and take her to bed. 

Bernie was her rock.

It had been three weeks since Elinor had died, and Bernie has tried her hardest to be everything for Serena. She knows it can only last for so long: Ric wants her to be there for Serena, but at the same time, AAU is in desperate need of at least one of its leads, and it has to be Bernie. 

She barely ever sleeps. She sits up most of the time, watching Serena’s fitful sleep, and when she does sleep, Serena’s crying wakes her. She can never get back to sleep after that, she's so scared that it will happen again, or she won't wake and Serena is left alone in her grief.

She has vowed to never leave her alone.

Serena had gone to bed early, just to lie there. Jason still needed his supper,so Bernie promised to be up shortly. She ate lasagne with Jason while watching  _Countdown_ , made him take his pills and changed his dressings. She kissed him goodnight as they did every night, tidied away the plates and clutter and went upstairs.

Serena was in a deep sleep. She was snoring in fact; the amount of crying she had done today seemed to have tired her out. Bernie went to have a quick shower before going to keep watch over her sleeping lover.

She went into the en-suite and stripped off her clothes. She turned the shower on, scalding hot as she always liked it. She was about to go under the stream when she caught a glimpse of her naked body in the mirror.

She was skeletal. She'd always been bony, but she hadn't noticed just how thin she'd become in the past few weeks. Nor had she noticed how sallow her skin looked, how dark purple lines circled her eyes. For the first time in her life, Bernie Wolfe looked old. Bernie felt old too.

As she stared into the mirror, the events of the past few began to flood her against her will. Watching Serena nearly be hit by her daughter, watching Jason be thrown by a speeding car, having her hands inside of Jason's body, having to let him bleed. Seeing the love of her life get ripped apart by watching her daughter die. Her own son leaving her. Her own son wanting to leave _without saying goodbye to her._ She had worked so hard to get her kids back, after everything Marcus did to poison them against her. She laid herself completely bare for them and Cam still left. She still lost her child after finally getting him back.

The images played over and over, getting faster and faster in her mind's eye. Bernie squeezed her eyes shut, clutching the cool porcelain of the sink, trying to ground herself and stop the hideous film, but it just kept on going faster. The images became so fast, they just became one image of endless suffering and Bernie fell to the floor, sobbing. 

All the tears she had held back for Jason and Serena were pouring out of her, the sobs coming so fast that she couldn't breathe. She lay on the floor weeping, trapped by the images. When her sobs finally abated, she lay shivering naked on the cold floor, with steam clouding her vision.

She didn't hear Serena come in, didn't know she had seen her whole breakdown. Serena came and lay next to Bernie on the floor with their faces nearly touching. When Bernie saw her, she tried to jump up and leave, feeling awful. She had no right to cry, her children were alive and well, she hadn't lost anything. Serena stopped her immediately.

'We share our life. My loss is your loss. My grief is your grief. Your tears are just as valid as mind Bern. If you weren't crying after everything that's happened in the past few weeks, you would have to be a robot'.

Bernie was once again amazed by Serena. She always knew what she was thinking, what she needed to hear. For the first time, she allowed herself to feel the pain of what had happened to them, and they lay there, finding comfort in one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't seem to stop writing this. On the one hand, I don't want to see them hurt, but on the other, I want to explore how they grieve as a couple in a way the show probably won't do.  
> (Someone take my phone away before I torture these poor angels anymore!)


	5. The First happy remembrances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena asks Bernie to do something for her to feel close to Elinor

It had been four and a half weeks since the death of Elinor. Bernie was back at work part time, only ever working in the days. They were sat together on the sofa, not paying attention to the Mary Beard Jason was watching. Serena was resting her head on Bernie's lap. She was absentmindedly playing with Serena's hair, raking her fingers over her scalp. Serena was doing much better, along with Bernie. She had seemed more like herself today, caring for Jason, eating Bernie's rich curry with relish. She felt content in Bernie's arms, with memories of Elinor. 

They all went to bed together. Bernie and Serena kissed Jason goodnight, and went to their room. They got changed, brushed their teeth and applied their lotion together. Bernie picked up her brush to comb out her hair, but Serena gently touched her hand to stop her.

'Can- Can I um. Brush your hair?' Serena avoided Bernie's eyes,  terrified she would laugh, or think her perverse in some way. Bernie put her finger underneath Serena's chin, and lifted it so she could look her in the eye.

'Of course, love. Anything for you' Serena sighed in relief at this, and took Bernie by the hand into their bedroom. She sat on the bed, and put a pillow between her legs for Bernie to sit on. They both winced, as Bernie's hip cracked while she sank to the floor.

Serena began brushing Bernie's hair, counting each stroke of the brush.

'I used to this every night when Ellie was little. I would brush her hair, one hundred strokes of the brush every time. She'd always be fast asleep by the time I was done.' Bernie smiled at this, and pressed a kiss to Serena's bare knee.

'She would beg me to play with her hair. She was always wanting to have pretend grown up pamper days, and I had to be her hair stylist. Even though she was much older when Edward left, she would ask me to brush her hair before bed. I think she just wanted something from when we were all happy to be the same.' Bernie reached her hand up, seeking Serena's. They held hands for a moment, before Serena resumed her brushing.

'I still remember her school discos. I crimped her hair, and she begged me to put these clip-in coloured streaks and this awful glitter gunk into her hair. Of course I did, and it took three washes to get the glitter out. A few years later, she was getting me to put all of these crazy dyes on for her. At least she eventually stopped with the crazy hair. I thought she would never grow out of it. There we go- One hundred!' Serena declared when she completed the strokes. 

She ran her fingers through Bernie's hair, and began taking strands and twishing them into French plaits. She secured them, and nudged Bernie forward. She sank down to the floor with her legs around Bernie, and wrapped her arms around her waist. She kissed the side of Bernie's face and lingered to take in the sweet scent of her hair.

'Thank you' she whispered in her ear. 'You made me feel close to her again'. Serena was smiling as she said this, glad that Bernie had allowed her to relive a happy memory. 

They soon began to feel the pain of their uncomfortable positions, and rose up with a great deal of uming and ahing and creaking of bones, which they smiled at. They eventually climbed into bed, and Bernie curled herself around Serena as always.

'Never be afraid to ask me for things, love. I'll never laugh at you. Especially things that bring you comfort. All I ever want to do is make you happy: please let me when I can'. Serena nodded in the darkness and brought Bernie's hand to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss of thanks to it.

'I love you'

'I love you too'


	6. The First Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sere is amused by Bernie's ridiculousness

Serena awoke once with the gut wrenching feeling of losing her daughter all over again. It was the same every morning. In her dreams, her precious baby was alive and happy, only for the cold vicious morning to rip it away from her. It wasn't so bad this morning, though. She remembered brushing Bernie's hair last night, feeling close to Ellie again. She rolled over to find comfort in Bern again, but was surprised to find the bed empty. She felt her stomach drop, feeling crushing loneliness close rapidly in on her until she saw the clock. 8:30. It was the first time that she had slept all night, and Bernie couldn’t be still long enough for a lie in. She’d probably slipped downstairs for a sneaky fag. 

She pulled on Ellie's baggy hoody, which she had taken to wearing as it still bore her scent, and traipsed down the stairs. Halfway down, she was met with a horrible screeching sound and the faint smell of burning. Serena’s first instinct was panic, rushing down the rest of the stairs to see what the problem was. Then she found Jason stood open-mouthed staring at a totally oblivious Bernie. She was cooking, or attempting to, with her hair piled messily on her head, glasses perched precariously on her nose and dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts that Serena had bought her. They were hot pink leopard print and declared ‘hot stuff’ over the arse. Bernie also clearly had headphones in, and was singing at the top of her lungs along to 'single ladies’ while also shaking her hips. 'Singing along' was an exaggeration, as Bernie had no clue what the words were. She was making strange high pitched noises instead of words, and was belting out the only phrase she knew in the song, 'put a ring on it'. She was enjoying herself so much, with the knowledge that Serena had finally slept well, that they had had such a special moment together last night, that they could celebrate a tiny progression, that she spun round-

-and stopped dead when she found her audience. It really was a ridiculous sight. Bernie in next to nothing, looking extraordinarily bug-eyed in her glasses, her hair threatening to topple over, and a slightly smoking frying pan gripped in one hand. For a moment she was terrified, thinking that Serena would think that she wasn’t mourning Elinor, that she was being disrespectful. She had barely realised she was doing it-she was so happy that Serena had finally managed to sleep, had eaten a proper meal last night, that she was overflowing with pride and happiness at how brave she was. And then Serena and Jason both burst into laughter. They laughed so much that they clutched their sides. Bernie removed her headphones and began laughing too.

Serena was laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face, but then her laughs turned to sobs. Jason took the pan from Bernie as she went to catch her as she crumpled. Once again, they were on the floor with Bernie cradling the sobbing Serena. She held her tightly to her chest, rocking gently and stroking her. She lay kisses in her hair and whispered that it was alright, to let it out, that she was there. Eventually Serena’s sobs turned to sniffles, and she rested against Bernie.

'I’m sorry, my love’ Bernie felt horrendous that she had caused she heartache for Serena, that she had caused her tears.  
'No, love. It’s me, not you. You made me happy. For a minute I was happy again, could laugh. You made me young, weightless, carefree. Once again, you did the impossible’ Serena said staring up at her with sad but adoring eyes. She raised her hand to cup Bernie's cheek, each of them with wonder in their eyes. Neither of them knew how the other was able to do what they did. Bernie couldn’t fathom Serena's strength and bravery,  and Serena was amazed by Bernie's ability make her smile, even in the very worst of circumstances.

'But I shouldn’t be happy. My baby girl is dead, and I shouldn’t ever be happy again. I didn’t think I ever could be happy again, but then you made me laugh without even trying’ Serena had a tiny smile as she told Bernie this, who pushed her glasses on to the top of her head to rest her forehead against Serena’s. 

'What has happened to you is unthinkable. No one should ever live through what you’re living through. And I know I didn’t know Elinor well, but I can’t imagine her ever wanting her mum to live her life in sadness. From the first moment I met her, I saw the same vibrancy, the same passion for life in her as in you. She wouldn’t want you to lose that. I won’t tell you to be happy, because that would be wrong. But I will tell you never to feel guilty because you are living your life, because Elinor wouldn’t have wanted that’. Serena was silently crying again as she nodded. Bernie stood up and held out a hand to pull her up before turning back to the oven.  
'Now then, where did I put my glasses?’. Serena chuckled, and smiled on as she watched Bernie search through the kitchen drawers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slightly adapted another story I wrote on Tumblr, as I thought it would fit perfectly here. Things are cheering up a bit now.


	7. The first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena become intimate again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note the change in rating- things will get steamy in this chapter. Also, this follows directly on from the previous chapter

Ever since Serena had laughed at Bernie prancing around in her knickers this morning, the whole house had changed. It felt like home again. The dark tension which had lingered over the house had finally broken. Of course, they were still grieving, but they had turned a corner. None of them were afraid to be happy any more, didn't have to hide their feelings. They'd spent the day together watching doctor who in their pajamas, with Jason sat on his special chair and Serena with her feet on Bernie's lap, both of them tucked up in a fluffy blanket. It was a peaceful, family day.

Jason was thrilled, and went to bed happy. This was partly because of the takeaway treat, but he was just glad to see his Auntie recovering. Bernie and Serena went upstairs, and began their usual nightly routine. Bernie was just about to take off her dirty pajamas, when Serena captured her lips fiercely. She raked her fingers through Bernie's hair, tugging gently as she ran her tongue across Bernie's lower lip. She eventually broke away, both of them flushed, and Bernie looking thoroughly shocked.

'I want to feel you again. I need to' Bernie was scared that this was too much for Serena, but she missed her lover. Emotionally, they had never been closer, to each other or anyone else, but their touch had been chaste, friendly. 

'Tell me if you need to stop' Bernie said, looking deep into Serena's eyes, looking for any sign that this might not be what she wanted. Serena nodded, and Bernie brought their lips together again. This kiss was slow, gentle and full of love. Bernie took Serena's hand and held it tightly as she lay wet kisses on her neck, gently suckling on her pulsepoint. 

She slowly opened Serena's pajama shirt with one hand, never letting go of Serena's hand. She kissed down the valley of her breasts, and gently ran her tongue beneath the top of Serena's bra cup. Bernie was worshipping her, making her glow with pure love. Bernie slipped her hand behind Serena's back and undid her bra. She laved her tongue across her breasts, watching as the goosebumps rose on her skin in the cool air. She took the stiff peak into her mouth, kissing and massaging it while Serena stroked her hair.

It was strange. Serena was usually very loud, taking the pleasure in sex as she did with all luxuries in life. But she was quiet, only the cant in her breath and the small gasps of pleasure showing her enjoyment. Bernie kissed a path down from her breasts to her navel, and then licked back towards her breasts. She captured her lips once more, while pushing down her pants with her hand. Serena helped kick them off, and for a moment they simply lay together with their foreheads pressed against one another, feeling the other's hot breath against their face. 

Slowly, Bernie lowered her hand to Serena's centre, finding her wet. She softly ran her finger up and down her slit, keeping eye contact with Serena the whole time. Serena was beginning to pant quietly, bucking her hips into Bernie's hand. Seeing her need, Bernie began to circle her thumb around her clit. As Serena's eyes fluttered shut, Bernie kissed her, wanting her to feel loved.

She began to spell out words with her thumb on Serenas clit. First, she drew an 'i', then an 'l' and 'o'. Serena was getting closer, nodding at what Bernie was spelling. When she reached the 'y', Serena gasped loudly in pleasure.

'I know' she panted heavily into Bernie's ear. With that, Bernie withdrew her hand, drawing a sound of loss from Serena. She once again kissed her way down her body, coming to rest between her thighs. Never once had she released Serena's hand. She ran her tongue up her slit, and sucked her clit into her mouth. Serena clamped her thighs around her head and threaded the fingers on her free hand into Bernie's hair. She massaged her clit with her tongue while gently humming, the vibrations making Serena's back arch off the bed. Bernie ran her tongue up her slit again, dipping into her entrance, and laying a kiss on her clit. At this, Serena came undone with a stuttered gasp, and squeezed Bernie's hand tightly.

It was as if Bernie had given her a release from her grief. The second she had cum, she felt the emotions of the past few weeks flood out of her. She felt all the grief, but at the same time,  she felt the hope and joy that Bernie brought her. For the first time, Serena saw a clear path, could imagine a future where she could be happy. It didn't mean that she didn't miss her daughter more than anything, it simply meant that she knew for sure that she could survive this. 

She tugged on Bernie's hair, wanting her to kiss her again. Serena tasted herself on her tongue, and she felt content. She knew that one day, Elinor would have accepted them. Wherever she was in the universe, maybe she did now. Bernie made her feel whole again.

'Thank you' Serena whispered in Bernie's ear. A few minutes later, they were both in a deep sleep, with Bernie curled around Serena. 

They were still holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written any kind of smut before, so I hope this isn't totally ridiculous. I also hope you don't think it was gratuitous, as I felt that they both needed to reconnect intimately after they have been working on navigating their relationship after Elinor's death.


	8. The first family dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena wants to host a family dinner for the first time.

'No Cam, you don't have to get dressed up, and your sister will be there too' Bernie sighed, exasperated by Cameron's attempts to find an excuse to not come back to Holby.

'Just,  please. This is about family, and you need to be here for that'.

It had been a week since the phone call, and eight weeks since Elinor's death, and the kids were in the back of the car together. Bernie looked in mirror and saw them, imagining what it would have been like when they were kids, squabbling in the backseat. When she pulled into the drive, she turned awkwardly in the seat to face them.

'I'm so glad that both of you are here. It means so much to me' Bernie took each of her kids' hands as she said this, wanting to show them how she felt. 'It means a lot to Serena too. Don't be afraid of upsetting her, she's so strong. And if she does get upset, I'm always there for her'.

Charlotte stared at her mother in amazement.  In all her life, she had never seen her like this, her emotions written all over her face. Every action Bernie made before her eyes seemed to show devotion and love, for them as well as her new family.

'You really love her, don't you?' Charlotte asked her mother. She could see the answer in her eyes, but wanted to see if she could say the words she never said to her father.

'I do love her. More than I ever thought possible. And Jason and you both. I love my family. I'm just sorry that it took me so long to be able to say it' Bernie squeezed her children's hands, then cupped Charlotte's cheek. She couldn't help but be reminded of Elinor; they could have almost been sisters, both of them with long, dark blonde hair and deep hazel eyes. 

Bernie was terrified of what this would do to Serena, but she had insisted fiercely.  It had been too long since they had had a family meal together, since they had all been together at Christmas. Bernie was prepared for the very worst response from Serena, but secretly, deep down hoped for the best. She wanted her to love her kids, and vice versa. 

Cam and Lottie followed Bernie into the foyer, looking at little out of place until Jason came to retrieve them. Serena was busy slaving away in the kitchen, refusing to let anyone near her masterpiece. Bernie sat with the three kids- God, they're not kids. They're in the 20s, they're adults, it's not as if they need their mummy there to mind them, but Bernie couldn't help it. In a way she had never felt before, she couldn't help but see her kids, and even Jason,  as her own little infants toddling around. She supposed they would always be her babies now, and there was no going back: she and Serena loved Jason as if he were their own. They had somehow managed to stitch together a perfect family.

There was just one snag in the stitching: Elinor.

Half an hour later, Serena called Bernie into the kitchen to start serving. 

'Is that-?' Bernie asked, looking longingly at the food before her.

'My world famous orange marinated chicken, with the full trimmings? Yes it is darling, so get on dishes quickly. And yes, I am fine'. Serena had beaten her to the punch on that one, so she hurriedly dished up while the kids set the table. Five minutes later they were tucking in, and Serena and Jason had to laugh. Bernie, Lottie and Cam all wore the exact same expression as they bit into the chicken. Eyes shut, a small smile and a loud hum of appreciation. Clearly, the love of food was a Wolfe thing.

They all ate happily, chatting comfortably. The only hint that anything was wrong was Serena kept staring at Charlotte. Lottie could feel her gaze, but tried not to catch her in the act to embarrass her. She sent a smile at her across the food, which was returned, although it seemed a little sad. 

Once they were all stuffed with food, the boys put doctor who on. Bernie and Cam fell asleep on the sofa, and Lottie went to help Serena tidy up. Bernie had tried, but Serena wanted her to spend time with the kids. They washed up in companionable silence, and when they were done, Serena turned to her.

'You look like her, you know' Serena said looking at her almost longingly. Lottie just smiled nervously 

'I really am sorry for what you've been through Serena.' Charlotte reached out her hand to Serena, who took it. After a momenter,  Lottie enveloped her in warm embrace. Serena cried again, but neither of them were worried about this. Serena was amazed that, once again, a Wolfe had found a way to make her feel close to her daughter again.

Later that evening, they were climbing into bed when Serena stopped.

'I want you to move in. Properly. Give up the flat and live here. We should properly live together, like a proper family'. 

Bernie didn't hesitate in agreeing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone wondering, orange marinated chicken is delicious, and is actually my mum's classic dish. It makes the most delicious gravy in the world.  
> I know that this is why you really wanted to read this: for cookery tips.


	9. The first guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena decide to invite a guest for the night.

'Look at her,  she's in agony.  Why won't she just admit it?' Bernie asked Serena, as they stared at the surgeon at the other end of the ward. All day, Jac had been fighting her pain and refusing to go home. It was 10:30 at night, and she had worked a twelve hour shift in pain. It was Serena's first day back at work, and she couldn't bare seeing someone who she respected so much suffer.

'You know Jac. She'll never admit defeat. Come on, I think it's time we take in another stray' Serena said, looking sadly on at Jac. As much as she wanted to help a friend and colleague feel better, really she just needed to feel like a doctor, a healer, a career again when she had been denied that today. Her patient had died today, on her first day back. There had been no hope really, but that didn't mean Serena didn't feel the pain of that loss, hadn't already obsessed over whose life had bren irreparably damaged by the death of Jane Doe. At least by taking care of Jac, she could heal, could take care of someone again.

Jac protested greatly against staying at the Campbell Wolfe household, but admitted her need for help when a wave of pain rushed so fiercely through her that she crumpled to the floor. So, she acquiesced and sat in the back seat with a hot water bottle provided by Bernie.

'You'll be sleeping in Elinor's old room' Serena said, craning round to look at Jac.

'What?! Ms Campbell, I very much appreciate you trying to help me, but I won't disrupt your dead daughter's bedroom a couple of months after her death. And I can't believe you even think of it!'  Bernie's head snapped around at this, and even the great Jac Naylor shrunk under the fierce glare she gave her until Serena rested her hand on her arm, silently telling her to stand down.

'Jac, she's not in there, and it's not some kind of shrine. Part of coming to terms with Elinor being... gone, is by allowing change. There's no point in me trying to freeze her life in a bedroom she hardly ever used. And besides, Ellie used to suffer terribly with her periods, so we still have all her pain relief stuff in her room.' Jac once again gave into Serena, while not being able to understand how she had let herself stand down twice in just a couple of hours.

Serena was thrilled to be taking care of someone, to feel like she had some kind of control again. She and Bernie could do magic, they had the power to heal people, just not everyone. But Jac was in no danger of dying, just of suffering. She was tucked up in bed with a heat pad, and provided with a cream and marshmallow topped hot chocolate within minutes of her arrival, as well as the comfiest sweat pants known to womankind. 

A couple of hours later, Serena had eased Jac's pain so much that she had slipped into a deep sleep with a smile on her face. Serena was smiling proudly as they were getting ready for bed, the fact that she had helped a friend overshadowing the sadness of the rest of the day.

'Why did you really bring Jac home? Was it the patient, or Ellie?' Bernie asked softly once they were in bed.

'I'll admit, I felt as powerless when that woman died as I did when I was with Ellie,  and helping Jac helped me feel like I was in control again' Serena said looking at the ceiling, deliberately avoiding Bernie's gaze.

'But-?' Bernie prompted. Serena rolled onto her side, looking Bernie in the eye and sighing.

'Every time I saw Jac wincing in pain, I saw Ellie at 15, stuck in bed because her periods were so painful. She didn't have endometriosis or anything like Jac, she was just very unlucky. I hated seeing her pain like that then, and that was all I could see when I saw Jac today. I saw my little girl in pain, and I needed to make her better' Bernie took her hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

'You know, I'm convinced you have the biggest heart in all the world. And I love you so much for it' Bernie said, with pure adoration in her eyes.

'Love you too'

Within minutes, there wasn't a single person awake in the house, and there no pain to be found in any of its inhabitants.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually suffer from the same condition as Jac, and have had an incredibly bad pain day today, and the idea of Bernie and Serena taking care of me popped into my head (obsessed, I know) and I adapted it into this. Hope you like it :) x


	10. The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie takes Serena out on a date for the first time. Things get heated afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not for kiddies. Tint bit of swearing and a bit of steamy postdate fun that is NSFW. Basically, smutty chapter ahead, you have been warned. Because they deserve a bit of fun for once- enjoy!

'It's weird that we never done this as a couple. We've been together for four months and we've never been on date!' Bernie laughed, with Serena tucked under her arm on the sofa.

'Well, it's certainly more fun at home and things-. Well, things happened that got in the way' Serena mumbled, close to falling asleep.

'Well, I want to show you off. We've both been working hard, and I want to treat you' Bernie said determinedly, looking down at Serena, who was now asleep.

' 'S nice dear' Serena slurred, making Bernie giggle quietly, turning down the television. They went to bed and hour later, and Serena had forgotten the conversation completely. 

A week later, Bernie was bouncing on the spot in their office, waiting to give Serena her gift. When she did finally walk in, she gasped in fright at Bernie silently waiting for her with a huge grin on her face.

'Good god, Berenice. What on earth are you doing just stood in the office? And why are you bouncing up and down like a puppy, pray tell' Serena said exhasperatedly, unable to keep her lips from turning up at the adorable sight of such an excited Bernie. An envelope was thrust into her hand with a beaming smile.

'Open it!' Bernie exclaimed, her excitement oozing off of her. Serena took it, looking rather confused. When she saw theatre tickets, she looked up at Bernie with a furrowed brow.

'Oh God, you don't like it. I knew I should have asked you first. I just remember you saying you wanted to see it and-' Serena had silenced Bernie’s panicked rambling with a kiss. She kicked the office door shut behind her and pushed Bernie against it, never breaking contact with her lips. She slid her hands down and cupped her arse, and took her earlobe into her mouth.

'God, you're amazing' she whispered in her ear. They would have continued had Fletch not knocked on the door. He couldn't hide his grin when he saw Bernie’s messy hair and bright red cheeks.

'Told you about your date then?  Got yourself a keeper there' Serena agreed, following him out of the office, leaving Bernie to compose herself.

Two days later, they were on a train to London, with surprisingly little complaint from Serena, despite her dislike of public transport. When they arrived, they checked into the hotel that Bernie had booked. It was wonderfully extravagant and close to the theatre. They had been given a free upgrade when the girl at reception had seen them sign as Doctors, and when she discovered Bernie had been in the army, and so went up to a plush premium suite. 

Bernie got dressed for the day in the bedroom, not needing much makeup, whereas Serena needed the whole bathroom for all her toiletries. All she knew was that she needed to dress up for Bernie's surprise after the theatre. 

Bernie was dressed quickly, and was quite pleased. She was wearing a tight fitting deep navy suit made of velvet. She wore a black shirt underneath, and had left many of the buttons open, which felt odd to her, but she wasn't going to let Lottie down. She had told her daughter what she was doing today, and she had taken her shopping, found her the perfect outfit and shown her how to do her makeup. It had been perfect, and they had been able to have a girly day for the first time ever. They had ended the day with a big hug, and Lottie confessing that she had never felt closer to her mother. 

When she saw there was about half an hour before they had to leave, she took the tube of lipstick which Lottie had said was a 'matte stain', double Dutch to Bernie, and very carefully swept the blood red liquid over her lips, and spritzed hairspray onto the elegant twisted bun she had struggled terribly with. She then went to tap on the door, but Serena came out before she could raise her hand. 

Bernie felt like the air had been knocked out of her as she looked at her lover. Serena was in a velvet bottle green dress which exposed her shoulders and flared beautifully at her waist. She then spun around, showing that the back was deep vee shape that exposed the long line of her spine, and was held together with an elegant emerald encrusted chain.

She looked like a goddess.

'Do I look OK?  I was never any good at fashion stuff.  Ellie-' Serena stuttered over her name, suddenly feeling guilty that she had managed to forget for a second in the excitement. This snapped Bernie out of her trance, and she rushed forward, cupping Serena's face in her hands.

'She would want you to be happy, remember. She would have been thrilled to see you having fun like this. And I have never seen anyone more beautiful in my entire life'. Serena blushed sweetly at this, but nodded.

They left the hotel hand in hand, and drew the eyes of everyone in the lobby. Both women were so beautiful that they naturally drew the eye. They delighted in the performance, Bernie's first ever play, and held hands throughout the show. When it was over, Bernie revealed that she had booked them in for dinner on the Thames. They enjoyed their meal as a piano played in the background as they drifted across the river, lit up by the busy city.

'May I have this dance?' Bernie asked, holding out her hand and bowing slightly to Serena when they had finished eating. Serena giggled, but gave her hand. They gently swayed together with Bernie leading, taking hold of Serena's hand and waist, holding her as close to her as possible. Serena rested her head on Bernie's shoulder as they swayed, and the whole boat was looking at the glorious sight. And for once in her life, Bernie Wolfe was not ashamed of being seen as who she really was, and felt proud to be seen with Serena. She even lifted Serena's chin to kiss her sweetly, wanting everyone to know that somehow, this wonderful woman loved her.  

When they got back to the hotel, they were both exhausted. However, when Serena stripped off her dress to reveal lacy emerald lingerie and stockings, Bernie was suddenly wide awake. Her jaw actually dropped, and she stared at Serena with  possessive lust. 

'How have I never seen these before? And why on earth are they being worn anywhere but our bed?' Bernie demanded, running her finger along the lace trim before capturing her mouth fiercely.  There was no teasing, Serena moaning as Bernie's tongue met hers, and her velvet covered knee pressed up against her core. Bernie pulled down the cups of the bra, and took a stiff nipple in her mouth, gently nipping at the skin of her breast, while rolling the other nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Serena groaned at the sensation, throwing her head back against the wall and bucking her hips rapidly against Bernie's thigh. Bernie actually growled at this and pulled her knickers to the side, and pressed the velvet against her wet folds, Serena gasping at the sensation.

'They'll get ruined' Serena gasped, grinding her hips down as she said it. Bernie was too focused on bringing her to completion to care. As Serena continued to grind against her thigh, delighting in the pressure and unusual texture, Bernie slipped her finger down to her clit and sucked on her pulsepoint. Serena's eyes slammed shut as Bernie put delicious pressure on her while rubbing her clit. 

'God, you're so fucking hot' Bernie whispered heavily in Serena's ear. This tipped Serena over the edge, and she cried out as she came, leaving a wet patch on Bernie's velvet trousers. 

The next day, they woke up naked on top the sheets with the curtains wide open. Neither of them cared who could see what, all that mattered was each other. They kissed sweetly, ignoring Bernie's foul morning breath and the trail of drool on the side of Serena's mouth.

'Thank you for this. I didn't realise how much we needed to be away from there until we got away. How do you always know what I need, when I don't?' Serena asked, staring at Bernie with amazement and adoration.

'Because I love you so much' Bernie responded without any hesitation, placing a kiss to her forehead.


	11. The first fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their date, Serena is acting strangely, leading to harsh words.

It had been four days since they had returned from London, and Serena had been acting strangely ever since. When they returned to Jason and the house on Sunday night, everything was fine, but since then she was barely speaking to anybody and sleeping on the floor in Elinor's room. Bernie had tried everything to get her to talk to her, but Serena just kept on pushing her away. Any time that she tried to come into Ellie's room to comfort her, Serena would just shout out her to get out. Bernie's heart was breaking seeing her like this, and she was even being cold to Jason.

Just last night, Bernie had found him crying in bed when she went to say goodnight to him. He had gone to say goodnight to Serena in his cousin's room, but she had screamed at him to get out the moment his foot got past the threshold, saying only her real child was allowed in there. Bernie knew she should go and sort out Serena, but she couldn't bare to see Jason so hurt by his Auntie. With his permission, she climbed onto the bed and tucked him under her arm.

'I am so, so sorry Jason. But do you remember what I told you on the day that Ellie died?' Bernie asked softly.

'"Grief makes people act strangely", but Ellie's been dead for months and Auntie Serena's been fine for a while now' Jason stated matter-of-factly, while wiping his nose of the back of his hand.

'That is true, Jason, but grief isn't logical. Something has made your Auntie have what we might call a relapse. She's back to where she was not long after Ellie died, I just don't know what caused it I'm afraid' Bernie held him tighter to her chest and placed a kiss in his hair.

'I do know for a fact that your Auntie loves you like a son. I swear to you that she didn't mean what she said and when she's feeling better,  she'll tell you that herself' Jason nodded, and placed his arm over Bernie's torso in an awkward hug.

'Would you mind sleeping in here tonight? I hate listening to her crying' Jason was speaking so quietly that Bernie could barely hear him, but she agreed. She watched over him as he slept.

 

When Jason had gone for a shower the next morning, Bernie stormed into the bedroom where Serena was getting changed. 

'Whatever is wrong with you, you do  _not_ take it out on that lovely boy!  I had him crying on my shoulder for half the night because of what you said to him. Take it out on me, that is fine. I can take anything,  but do not hurt your family' Bernie shouted, tears streaming down her face against her will. Serena's face turned red in rage and she rushed at Bernie, who flinched,  thinking she was going to hit her. Serena didn't even notice.

'You're right. It should be you I should be taking it out on. But he's just as bad, all of you trying to erase her. I'm sorry my dead daughter is such an  _inconvenience_ for all of you!' Serena was right in Bernie's face, spitting the words at her. Before Bernie could respond, Serena had stormed off. Bernie stood shellshocked,  with tears slipping down her cheeks.

 

Once she was in work, everyone on the ward soon learned to avoid Serena. F1s were terrified of having to talk to her at all, as she had already torn a strip off of Fletch and Morven, who had run off in tears, in front of the entire ward. In addition to that, there was no sign of Ms Wolfe to soften her mood, as she had called in sick. People began gossiping, suggesting that they had broken up causing Serena's foul mood.

After hours of white hot rage, Serena went to the roof to try and calm herself down a little. She hated how she was acting,  but she couldn't seem to stop. When she found Dominic sat on the roof she sighed, annoyed that she couldn't find any peace. But when he turned around, it instantly disapated and was replaced with concern. Dom had a deep gash running along his temple which was bledding. He was also crying, while trying to hide his face from Serena.

'Dr Copeland,  what on earth happened?' Serena very gently reached out to place her hand on his back, but when he flinched violently, she quickly removed it.

'Who did this to you?' She asked softly, kneeling in front of him. 

'I walked into a door' Dom said with a cynical laugh. Serena gasped, instantly understanding.

'Dr Mayfield did this to you!  I hope you have called the police' Serena reached out her hand to his, and he took it.

'No. It was my fault-'

'Oh dear god, Dominic, can you hear yourself? Has he done this before?' Serena was becoming shrill with her horror at what had been going on to Bernie's close friend. She began to wonder if Bernie could have stopped it if she hadn't been so focused on Serena.

'He's only ever hit my a couple of times, and he's explained why. I just always do the wrong thing-' Serena stopped Dom before he could say anymore. 'He is an abuser. He has been abusing you, I imagine for quite some time. If not with fists then with words. You cannot stay with him. I know better than most how short life can be, and I know how wonderful and smart you are. By staying with that monster, you are putting your life at risk, and it is a precious thing.  _You_ are a precious thing. Don't ever believe it when people like him say you're not worthwhile because you are an amazing person'. Dom collapsed onto Serena's shoulder sobbing, as she rubbed his back. She felt like his mother. Then she suddenly remembered what she had done this morning.

She flooded with shame as remembered the horrible things she had been saying to Jason and Bernie, but then remembered how bernie had flinched when she had rushed at her. She began to cry as she realised that she had made Bernie feel the same way that Dom was feeling now.

By the end of the day, Issac had been arrested, sacked and Serena had brought Dom home with her. When she came in, Bernie was waiting for her at the kitchen table. Dom went to sit with Jason as they went to talk. 

The moment the door was closed from the boys, Serena burst into tears.

'Oh God,  I'm so so sorry! You must hate me, you and Jason!' Serena gulped between tears.  Bernie took her into her arms and rubbed her back, calming her down.

'I could never hate you,  and neither could Jason' they had sunken to the floor, the cold tiles burning against their knees. Once Serena had finally calmed down, Bernie asked her what had caused all this.

'When we got back I-. She came to me in a dream. She was angry.  She said she hated me, that I'd forgotten her. She kept on telling me that she hated me for being with you, for caring about Jason more than her. She said she wished us all dead every d-  day' Serena broke down into sobs again as she said this.

'It wasn't really.  It wasn't her' Bernie whispered in her ear, smoothing down her hair. 

'I know, but I kept on hearing her ringing in my ears. I didn't even realise how terrible I had been to you both until I spoke to Dominic. I just thought she was right- I had been trying to forget about her, and I deserved to be punished for that. I just didn't realise I was punishing the both of you'.

Once it was all out in the open, Bernie explained to Serena that trying to move on wasn't the same as trying to forget her, and that she was always forgiven. All three of them made up after many hugs, kisses, tears and apologies. 

That night, everyone slept downstairs. They were all full from their takeaway, and had found a marathon of Romcoms, which they all delighted in mocking to cheer up Dom. Jason fell asleep in his chair, a great rarity, and Bernie had her feet up on the recliner, with Dom's head in her lap and Serena's feet next to it. 

Bernie had been the last to fall asleep, stroking Dom's hair and Serena's ankle, glad that the world was right again and that she was able to look after them all.

 


	12. The First Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through a terrible series of unfortunate events, Bernie Wolfe ends up on the table in Holby City hospital's theatre.

Seven months after Ellie's death, everything was well in the Campbell Wolfe household. There were bad days, of course, but they were outweighed by the good. Their family was close now, with them all joining for Sunday lunches, as well as Bernie often taking Jason to conventions, and Serena taking Lottie shopping. Cam visited at least once a month, and they would all go out to dinner together. And they were all very aware that Elinor was still a part of their family, she just wasn't physically there with them- they made a point of encouraging Serena to talk about her when they were all together.

It was a sweltering day in the middle of August and all of the staff on AAU were exhausted from the heat. It pressed in from every corner of the ward, and made tempers short. It was so hot, in fact, that they had treated a couple of cases of heat exhaustion. Serena had just got out of surgery when the red phone rang.  _God help me, I need a bloody holiday_ she thought sardonically as she picked up the phone. There had been a serious collison- most had gone to St James', but the driver who caused the accident was being brought to Holby because of their bed shortage.

When the driver was pushed through the doors, however, Serena froze. Her insides turned to ice, and her mouth dried. She could barely breathe looking at the woman on the gurney whose head had a nasty bleed. She could distantly hear Morven and Jasmine asking if she was alright, telling her that they needed to go into theatre now.  She backed away from them, then ran to the stairs. 

Serena hadn't seen Bernie pass her as she left the ward, but Bernie had seen her. She quickly paged Ric for the girl, then ran after Serena. She was running down the stairs, trying to escape, but Bernie was quickly catching up, sprinting at top speed. She couldn't call out to Serena as her lungs were burning with the effort. She was at the top of the flight of stairs, still running, when her foot missed a step. 

Bernie was suspended in the air for a split second, barely aware of what was happening. Her hand was still clinging to the bannister, but it was as if it was separate from the rest of her body. Time then returned to normal, and Bernie slammed down on her back on the stairs. She heard, rather than felt, the snapping of bone. Against her will, she screamed in agony.

This snapped Serena out of her trance. Her head whipped round and she saw Bernie shaking on the stairs. She rushed to her, and called out for help. She took Bernie's hand and kept on telling her  _I'm here. It's all going to be ok, I'm here. Please be ok._ A paramedic found them a few minutes later and helped them. 

 

 

When Bernie had been fully checked over for head and spinal injuries, Serena finally began to relax. Bernie would have to have surgery on a broken arm meaning she would be out of work for a little while. Serena had been apologising profusely ever since the accident.

'Please stop saying sorry, I was a bloody daft idiot running as fast as I was on stairs' Bernie chuckled weakly. 'But I do want to know what you were running from.' Serena averted her gaze and took a deep breath.

'The driver, in the RTC. She was a young girl. Same age as Ellie. Even looked like her. It was that day all over again, and I couldn't bare to be in the same building as her, let alone operate' Serena burst into tears, and Bernie tried to calm her, eventually pulling her down the lie on the bed with her. She carefully held her, being extremely cautious of her arm. 

She whispered to her  _it's okay now, I'm here. Everything is ok_ over and over until Serena drifted off to sleep in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet I had a couple of you going for a minute there- but don't worry, I would never ever do anything serious to either one of them.


	13. The First Surprise - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is going stir crazy cooped up with her broken arm, but Serena has a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've not updated for a few days. I've been put on some new pills which knock me out, meaning that my writing time was gone. Hopefully will be uploading more regularly now

Bernie clicked the remote, changing chanel every second, not really looking at what was on. It had been two weeks since her accident and Hannsen was refusing to let her come back, even for administrative duties.

 

'Ms Wolfe, I refuse to allow you back on duty while injured. In addition to this, it has come to my attention that, not only have you not taken any annual leave in your 17 months here, you have also worked multiple extra shifts to cover for Ms Campbell's absence. While it is very notable,  _you_ are my concern' Bernie's brow furrowed in confusion. Hannsen moved round the desk and indicated for Bernie to sit next to him on the sofa. She held herself stiffly,  feeling uncomfortable next to such an austere man.

'May I call you Bernie?' she nodded, somehow unable to conjure words, feeling as if she was about to be told off by the headmaster.

'Bernie, I consider Serena to be one of my closest friends. Typically, I do not make a habit of becoming...  _friendly_ with people, but I think we both know that Serena is rather special in that regard. And as you have become such a big part of her life, and because I actually happen to rather like you, I have come to care for you in the same way'  Bernie smiled at this, touched that a man who usually seemed so unfeeling was opening up to her.

'Of course, Serena has been through hell, and I deeply regret not being here to help her through that; I am, therefore, immensely grateful that she had, and has,  you caring for her.'

'Well, I love her very much. There was no doubt that I would be there for her' Bernie interupted, feeling as though he was judging her for when she was not there for Serena.

'Of course. Make no mistake, Bernie. I, nor anyone else in this hospital, doubts your devotion to Serena. No, in short, I am worried that there has been no support for you'. Bernie let out a honking laugh at this, finding it ridiculous that he felt that she needed support. She only stopped when she moved her arm awkwardly, causing a stab of pain to shoot up.

'Yes. You have suffered as well. From what I can tell,  you have put your entire life on hold for Serena. You have cared for both her and her nephew, and not just emotionally. Such a task would be strenuous for anyone. I want you to take a month off-''

'WHAT?!' Bernie exclaimed, leaping up off the sofa to face him, only to grimace in pain as  she had instinctively pushed herself up on her bad arm.  Hannsen eased her back down, very gently taking her hand to guide her back.

'You are an asset both to this hospital, and to Serena. And I know that you put 100% of your efforts into each of these-and yes, I do know that these are both labours of love before you interupt me again. However, that is simply not sustainable, and I think that you know that.' Though she hated to admit it, Bernie did. She could never think of taking care of Jason and Serena as a chore, but she was finding more and more that always putting her emotions second, hiding them, especially after the accident,  was exhausting her. Just waking up in the mornings could feel like an effort some days.

'By taking this time off, you will be able to recuperate from this incredibly strenuous year,  and be able to give both Serena and the hospital what they need'.

 

Bernie had grudgingly agreed, but was now regretting it. It had been a week since they had made the arrangement, and Bernie was desperate to pick up the phone and tell him she was coming in, and she didn't give a stuff what he said. She had tried to read, to watch TV,  even to clean, but nothing held her attention. She was itching to do  _something, anything._ When Serena finally came home with Jason, Bernie was dishing up, thankful for something useful to do. Serena had tough her how to make all of Jason’s meals, so that she could take over if Serena wasn't home. They had both been fairly surprised to find that she could cook more than just a curry. They happily chatted away while digging into to their spaghetti cabonara.

'Fancy a drive tomorrow?'Serena asked casually.

'Where to?' Bernie was instantly suspicious, as Serena would only leave the house at the weekend if absolutely necessary.

'Anywhere. I know it's been hard for you, cooped up in the house,  so I thought I would treat you to a little outing' Bernie agreed, still thinking something was going on. 

 While Bernie and Jason watched QI,  Serena went up for her usual Friday bath. It was nearly half ten, and Bernie was just dozing off when she could have sworn she heard the front door close, but Jason assured her he heard nothing. _You're going crazy stuck in this house, Wolfe_ she thought to herself.

The next morning she was surprised once again, as Serena was awake before her, an occurrence that she assumed either signalled the apocalypse or the joyous impeachment of the Burnt Chesse Toastie (although Bernie suspected that Serena might wake her up for that, so they could fly to the states together to gloat).  Bernie remained suspicious as Serena kept on deflecting her questions about the day. Eventually, Serena declared it was time for them to go, and they both kissed Jason goodbye. 

'I hope you both have a lovely time!' he cried happily, waving wildly at the threshold as they got in the car.

'Alright, Campbell. What on earth are you up to?' Bernie demanded.

'Well, I suppose there's no point hiding it any longer. I've booked us a cottage in the lake district for this week, lots of walks and things to do. And then the kids are all coming to stay with us at the weekend, even Cam!' Serena was practically bouncing on her seat as she told Bernie,  so glad that she could finally give something to her. This was slightly dampened as Bernie then burst into tears, to Serena’s befuddlment and fear.

'I'm- I'm  s-sorry' Bernie gulped out through her tears. 'No one's e-ever done an-anything this n-nice for me before'. She could barely get her words out through her sobs, but when she did, Serena laughed at how silly Bernie was being and pulled her into a tight hug.

'You know, this is usually the other way around' Serena said sarcastically, while rubbing her back. Bernie nodded, laughing. Eventually, her tears subsided and they set off for the long drive, having their usual argument about what to listen too.

They arrived many hours later at a beautiful cottage suspended over the lake, overlooking the steep hills. It was surrounded by woodland and was perfectly secluded. They smiled at one another, taking each others hand, walking up to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.lakedistrictwalks.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/IMG_6039.jpg This is the cottage I was inspired by.


	14. The First Holiday- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena enjoy their break together. While they are away, they each discover the other's secret.

They were both in heaven. 

When they had arrived at the cottage, there seemed to be a kind of serenity that came over them. The restlessness that had been plaguing Bernie since her accident seemed to have blown away in the country air, and Serena looked healthier than she had in months. They opened the door, dropped their bags and collapsed onto the plush sofa. 

'This is perfect' Bernie sighed, looking adoringly at Serena. Serena lowered Bernie's head onto her lap, and they settled comfortably. Five minutes later, they both fell asleep properly for the first time since Bernie's accident. 

They woke up as the sun was setting on the lake. 

'Bernie, look' Serena breathed, as a deep orange glow bathed the room. They both looked in awe and walked out onto the balcony. They sat on the edge, their legs dangling over the lake as they bathed in the light of the sinking sun. 

'It's almost as beautiful as you, love' Bernie nudged Serena with her shoulder, smiling.

'Charmer' Serena scoffed, but turned to face Bernie and pressed a deep kiss to her lips. She rested her head on Bernie's shoulder, and they held hands until they saw the stars. They eventually went back inside to eat, and went to bed early.

 They both slept until the next morning, and neither of them were plagued with the guilt or restlessness that had kept them awake for so long. 

They finally woke up to the hammering of rain on the roof.

'Typical bloody Northern weather. I knew I should have tried harder for Cornwall' Serena blearily grumbled.

'No, I love listening to rain. You spend long enough in the desert and it becomes magic to you' Bernie insisted with her eyes still closed. 

'I always hated it up north. I once let Ellie drag me up to Blackpool one weekend, and I swear it was the worst day of my life. The place was filthy.'

'OI!' Bernie gently elbowed Serena in reprimand with her good arm. 

'I bloody love Blackpool. We always used to go for our summer holidays there when me and Marcus first got married. Even when we had Cam, it was all we could afford. He used to love going on the donkeys. And one of my best friends was from Blackpool. Met her in service, but we still chat whenever we can. She's still over there.' Bernie sounded dreamy, as if she was dropping off again.

'She'd better just be a friend- who is she, and is she younger than me?' Serena deadpanned, pouting when Bernie snorted laughing. 

'Her name's Clara. And she is younger than you- twenty years younger. Very pretty, always had a bit of crush on me, not to mention the amazing-'

'OI! I come up with a wonderful holiday and you're ready to ditch me for jailbait!' They'll were both nearly crying laughing at this. 

The rain continued to pour for the rest of the day, and the two never left the bed for more than ten minutes. 

 

 The next day, the sun was shining gloriously. Serena donned her absurdly large sunhat,  while Bernie slathered on factor 50, knowing from bitter experience how badly she could burn. They drove into town with the windows down, belting out cheesy old summertime music, only to stop suddenly every time a car would pass them. Every time they would burst out laughing at the disapproving looks they received.  

Of course, once they were in town, Serena insisted on dragging Bernie around all the clothes shops, trying on twenty blouses in each, all of which Bernie thought looked lovely. Serena rolled her eyes at this, and insisted that she was such a bloke in this regard. Serena was pulling Bernie to the next shop, when a tiny shop opposite caught her eye. She told Serena to go in without her, while she unloaded the bags in the car. Serena tried to come with her, worrying about her arm, but a hat in the window managed to distract her. Bernie came out of her shop stealthily and laden with bags, which she quickly deposited.

Hours later, they came home, leaving the bags in the car while they ate. Serena sat down for a second,  but ended up sleeping on the sofa for the next three hours. Being careful not to disturb her, Bernie retrieved her purchases from the car and went to the balcony. She left the door open so that she could hear Serena, and she could hide her stuff if needs be. She pulled the first item from the bag and smiled.

When Serena finally woke up, she noticed there was a slight chill. She went to go and shut and the door to the balcony, but was amazed by the sight that greeted her. Bernie was sat humming and smiling peacefully looking over the lake. Or capturing it. 

Bernie had an easel in front of her, and had beautifully rendered the lake in the midday sun.

'It's stunning' Serena breathed, making Bernie jump. 

'I didn't know you could paint' she said, sitting next to the blonde, still unable to take her eyes from the painting. Even though she had never seen Bernie do any kind of artwork, she could she her lover's imprint, her personality spread with every brushstroke.

'I didn't know that I still could,  to be perfectly honest. I've not picked up a paintbrush since I was eighteen. I actually wanted to go to artschool, but my parents were having none of it. Do you know, not even Marcus or the kids know that.' Even Bernie seemed amazed by her creation, and they both sat staring at it for a while, until they both began to shiver as night crept in.

The next day, they were lounging on the sofa with Serena reading, and Bernie alternating between reading and dozing off.

'I'm going to tell you something I've never told anybody else' Serena said suddenly, making Bernie jump out of her skin.

'I was once a live model for my boyfriends art class in uni' Serena had squeezed her eyes shut while she was saying this, and her whole face and chest flushed bright red in embarrassment. 

'Crickey. Well, Ms Campbell. I must now insist that you bestow on me the same honour' Bernie chuckled, waggling her eyebrows ludicrously. To her amazement Serena actually agreed.

'Draw me like one of your french girls' Serena laughed as she stripped off her blouse. She then sighed at Bernie's creased brow, and the obvious lack of comprehension. 

'Never mind. But you know,  you really need to watch a film or two' Serena smiled fondly at Bernie's peculiarities.

She was led upstairs, where Bernie positioned her lengthways across the bed. The sun was just beginning to set whenew Bernie started, much to her delight. Serena's body was bathed in golden light, and Bernie quickly sketched out her lover so that she could capture the beautiful light.

Serena resisted the urge to squirm under the intense scrutiny, but it was as if Bernie was in another world. Her brush was dancing as she captured the look of shy love in Serena's eyes, as she dragged the brush down the elegant curve of her neck, as she immortalised the golden light illuminating the tips of her breasts. Bernie was done just two hours later, and when Serena saw what she had done , she was lost for words.

'It's so beautiful' she whispered as Bernie kissed her.

'Well that's how I see you. How the world sees you. Beautiful.'

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that there will be one more part, as there's a lot I want to fit into their holiday. I hope you enjoy it 


	15. The First Family Holiday-Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids join Bernie and Serena at the cottage for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since posting. It's been a bit crazy lately- hoping to get this one finished soonish. I think we're looking at four more chapters. Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments- its so nice to read them, and you all put a big smile on my face!

Bernie winced as she woke up, accidently rolling onto her bad arm. She had been able to do so because there was an empty space where Serena should be. Bernie put on her glasses and work hoodie and traipsed downstairs. She was pleased to find Serena at the stove cooking breakfast while singing along to the radio. Bernie snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her cheek.

'Someone's an early bird this morning' Serena twisted in her arms to place a quick kiss on Bernie's lips.

'Yes, well- the kids are coming today and I don't want to be caught off guard. Speaking of which- you'd better hide that painting of yours. Lovely as it is, I would  _die_ of sheer mortification if any of the kids saw it' Bernie barked out her absurd laugh, making Serena smile despite herself.

'Can't have Jason finding our that Auntie Serena has a secret life as as an erotic muse now, can we?' she chuckled as Serena flushed even more, smacking Bernie's arse as she went to go and collect said painting.

'Careful, my love.  Do that again, and Jason'll end up walking in on the live action version of the artist  _working_ her muse, as it were!' Bernie called, making sure Serena saw her crude imitation of such an act with her tongue, before blowing a kiss and laughing at Serena's shocked expression.

Once the incriminating painting was safely tucked away in the boot, they ate breakfast, did a little bit of tidying, and ended up snuggling together on the sofa within an hour. The kids weren't due until at least one, so they decided to put on a film- Serena decided on Titanic so that Bernie might one day understand at least one major pop culture reference.

She was snoring heavily within thirty minutes, much to Serena's amusement (Bernie insisted that she hadn't even fallen asleep, the film was about a boat that sunk and all she did was shut her eyes anyway, thanks you very much).

After a couple of phone calls along the way, the kids arrived driven by Cam. After what seemed like a million hugs and kisses and I've missed yous, they finally all got round the table to eat the lunch that Lottie had insisted on making. Bernie and Serena both swelled with pride as she pulled out a perfectly packed picnic hamper, featuring each of their favourite sandwiches and snacks. 

 Everyone dug in, except for Jason who said her had eaten his in the car so his schedule wasn't interrupted. They all chatted away incessantly, until Lottie sheepishly piped up.

'Um, Mum, Serena- there's actually a couple of things that we've not told you about' Bernie and Serena both glanced at each other, and set steely gazes on the guilty Wolfe faces in front of them. Jason took no notice and went first. 

'Well, Alan ended up having to go back into hospital-'

' _ **WHAT?!'**_ Bernie and Serena yelled in unison, realising that Jason had apparently been left alone in the house for God knows how long. Jason looked frankly terrified by this response, and turned to Lottie, who calmly took over.

'Jason hasn't been living on his own- I've been living with him this week' they sighed in relief at this, and then shared a look of confusion.

'My roommate at uni turned out to be a bit- well, um-  _wild_ so I've been staying on friends couches for the last while. Dad's in a tiny flat now, and I didn't-'

'Move in' Serena said without hesitation. Bernie's head snapped around,  looking at her in awe.

'Really?' Charlotte and Bernie said in unison, briefly smiling at the fact that more and more similarities between them were becoming apparent.

'Really. You're all my family. You can have Ellie's room if your want-'

' I couldn't do that Serena'

'- then we will convert the loft. I've always wanted to do it, and it can be your own space'

'Serena, you have to let me pay for-' Serena held her finger up to halt Bernie, taking her hand.

'Remember, we are equals in every way.  My house is your house, and this is our family. We go halves, and I won't hear another word about it' Bernie smiled, and drew Serena into a chaste kiss, to declarations of 'gross' and 'get a room' from Cam and Lottie as they laughed.

They rented out a boat, and travelled down the lake. Afterwards, they found a quaint café where they had tea and cake, although Jason refused the cake, saying he felt a little bit sick from the boat ride.

The final day of the holiday was spenthe in total bliss, with them all lounging in pajamas watching Jason's quiz shows, each of them nodding off at one point or another. Bernie, Lottie, Cam and Serena were all crammed together on the couch, with Cam draping himself comfortably across his mother, much to everyone's amusement, and Lottie shyly tucking herself beneath Serena's arm. Jason sat comfortably in his armchair as he always preferred,  but did dish out a rare hug to each of them. 

They were all sad to leave the cottage the the next afternoon, but they agreed total that they would make this their tradition.

The Campbell-Wolfe annual family holiday.


	16. The First Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Serena's birthday, and Bernie has pulled out all the stops, but there is a potential crisis on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: eating disorder

September had come to a close, and the Campbell Wolfe household was in absolute chaos. Bernie was back at work, and juggling administrative duties and physio, Jason was working late nights every night and builders were there converting the loft, seemingly, 24/7. Serena, on the othere hand, was barely ever at the house, much to Bernie's consternation. She had taken the lead on a public awareness campaign; Hannsen had approached Serena to ask permission to do the campaign, as it was about the dangers of cocaine usage- Serena had given her approval, on the condition that she be allowed to lead it.

There had been many arguments over this, with Bernie determined that Serena having to rake over Elinor's death even day was too much, that it was unnecessary torture. She eventually gave up, with assurances that Serena would give up the project the moment that she thought it was getting too hard for for her. It had been this way for over a month, but today would be different.

It was Serena's birthday.

Serena had rushed off before Bernie had even got into the shower, wanting to complete all her work so that she could make it home on time. With Serena out of the house so much, Bernie felt like some kind of invader.

She had taken over caring for Jason, although he had insisted on a change in his routine. He had made the decision to take on more hours at work because he was 'saving up for something special', although that remained a secret. This meant he didn't get in until 9pm, so he takes his tea with him (except when Bernie gives him fish and chip money on a friday- for all the porters. Bernie couldn't help but think this whole 'maternal' thing was a bloody expensive do!). So most of the time it was just her and Lottie sat at opposite ends of the table doing their paperwork, both feeling slightly uncomfortable in a house that was very 'Campbell' in both name and nature.

Bernie had done most of her work early, so spent most of her morning teaching Jasmine diagnostic tricks. She popped down to see Jason, but only found one of the porters whose name she couldn't remember. She asked him if it was okay that Jason was leaving at 5 tonight, but was surprised at his answer.

'Why wouldn't it be? That's when he always leaves'. Bernie was stumped as to why Jason would lie to her, and so she eventually texted him, asking him to meet her on the roof.

She was sat in the cold wind for nearly an hour before Jason turned up. It was the first time in a while that Bernie had seen Jason in daylight, as he tucks up in his bed playing on the x box when he's not at work. She was struck by how gaunt he looked, at the pronounced hollows in his cheeks. She tried to hide her worry as realisation set in, patting the space next to her.

'I know you've been lying about work Jason, and I think I know why' Jason's eyes were flitting everywhere to avoid Bernie's, and he seemed scared of her next words. She took his hand, and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles.

'Are you starving yourself, Jason?' He burst into tears at the words, the reality of it setting in at once  for both of them. Bernie cradled him to her chest as he wept, waiting until he was ready, fighting back her own tears. 

'Why?' Bernie asked once his sobs had eased. With great difficulty, he explained to her at length that there was a girl who he was in love with- she worked at pulses, and would sometimes chat to him in the staff canteen. After talking to Cam, he asked the girl out. She had told him that she didn't date 'guys like Jason'. Bernie knew instantly what the girl meant, fuming internally at her blatant prejudice. But the girl had told him that what she had meant was that she only dated muscley men. And ever since, Jason had done everything to avoid eating, using Bernie's fish and chip money to go to a gym  (he burst into tears again at this point, apologising profusely).Bernie cuddled him to her again, rubbing soothing circles into his back, gently whispering to him that it was all going to be okay.

'Look at me Jason. I'm going to tell you something that I once had to tell your auntie: your body is perfect-' Jason shook his head vigorously at this, but Bernie stopped him.

'Before this girl, you were happy and healthy. When somebody loves you, they love  _all_ of you. Most of the time, the things we like least about ourselves is the thing that they love about you. I hate my nose, for instance, but your Auntie adores it. And I promise you Jason,   ** _you are perfect._** Your body is perfect, your mind is perfect and your personality is perfect.' Jason looked at her disbelievingly.

'Jason, your Auntie loves you and so do I. We both think of you as one of our babies, which means that we will do anything to stop you coming to any harm, ok?' Jason nodded, standing up, offering his hand to Bernie to help her up. He then pulled her into a tight hug.

'Love you, Bernie' he mumbled into her shoulder.

'I love you too, Jason. How about we go and get a McDonald's, as a special, one off treat?' 

Bernie took the rest of the afternoon off to treat Jason, as well as arranging an appointment with a councillor. They also made a promise to each other: Bernie promised not to tell Serena until her birthday was over, and Jason promised never to keep secrets again.

 When Serena got in, the house was decked out in streamers and presents, with the AAU family coming for her birthday tea. Cam Skyped to wish Serena a happy birthday, although Morven's blush didn't escape Bernie or Serena when his face came on the screen. Jac and Zosia had also tagged along, and were rather  _tactile_ with each other the more alcohol they consumed (both women stored this for a later date,  being sure that something would come of it). Dom had also brought his new boyfriend, a lovely man by the name of Will who seemed to worship him.

Bernie and Serena looked at how big and happy their family was and were overwhelmed. 

Many hours later, the last of the guests left, leaving just the four of them. Bernie nodded at Jason and Lottie, so that they could go and get Serena’s presents from their hiding places. The second they left, however,  Serena surprised Bernie.

'I want to put your name on the mortgage' she blurted it out so abruptly that it seemed to take them both aback.

'It's too soon-' Serena shook her head, reminding Bernie of Jason on the roof earlier.

'Look around. Our lives are built around each other now. This is our home and I want ton make that completely official.'

They were crying happily and kissing when Jason and Lottie returned, which was a little disconcerting for them. When Bernie spotted them, she pulled away, wiping her nose on her sleeve (Serena and Jason both pulled faces at this, making Lottie giggle behind her hand).

'I couldn't give you your presents in front of everyone else- you wouldn't have wanted that' Bernie first presented on open envelope.

'I see the military budgeting has extended to gift giving' Serena laughed, but it died in her throat when she saw what the letter said

'How?' she was barely speaking above a whisper, as if the air had been knocked out of her.

'An old friend of mine works at the Guardian. I sent a copy of Elinor's article to her. She's waiting for your word as to whether she publishes it or not- with a link to the project as well to raise awareness'.

Serena stared at Bernie with tears in her eyes, looking completely awestruck. She nodded, once again pressing a tearful kiss to Bernie's lips.

'Jason, can you take the sheet of your Auntie's other presents please' Jason had a huge grin on his face, as he had helped Bernie with these presents. Serena nearly fell to the floor when two canvases were unveiled.

The first was a painting of Serena and Elinor together.  It was the last picture taken of the two of them at Christmas,  and Serena had been heartbroken when those pictures had been lost. A certain computer whizz had been secretly working on retrieving them for Bernie before her arm broke. The plan had just been to get them framed, but Bernie wanted to make the most of her reconnection with her art. 

She had perfectly captured the image in beautiful strokes, making her subjects look as if they could step off the canvas. The other painting was of the picture of the entire family at Christmas. 

Not the posed picture, but the candid one that had been caught when someone left the video on by accident. Jason could be seen in a doctor who Christmas jumper in his armchair, laughing at Cam's joke. He was sat on the floor, leanimg against the chair next to Jason's legs. Lottie could be seen sat on the floor in front of her mother on the sofa, craning her head around to her: mother and daughter were captured with the same graceful crinkle of the eyes, the unguarded smile as they laughed at her brother. Bernie and Serena were led on the sofa, Serena between Bernie's legs, both looking very tired, but happy and content. Serena was looking at them all smiling, but her concentration was on the final fmaily member. At the end of the sofa was Ellie, sat staring at her phone, making a great effort to look like she hated all of this- but Bernie had perfectly captured the tiny smile that she hadn't managed to suppress. 

This was their  _real_ family, their true nature captured in all its perfection.  Serena was moved greatly by these, but so was Jason.

He saw how Bernie saw him-perfect. His depraved body felt separate from him as he saw his real self- the person he would much rather be again. 

The most terrible year in Serena Campbell's life was made good, once again, by Bernie.  She healed two Campbell's that day, while beginning her journey to become one officially.  


	17. The First Christmas-Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Eve and the Campbell-Wolfe household is packed to the rafters.  
> +

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *It gets pretty raunchy at the end of this chapter, so if you're not into smut, look away now.

'Oi! Shut up you noisy buggers-it's coming on now!' Bernie's voice belted out through the room. Everyone quickly obeyed and turned to the television.

'We here at Holby City hospital are a family, and therfore a single member of staff's loss is our loss. We are immensely pleased with the ruling, but it is not my victory. I will pass you on to Ms. Campbell who is behind this success' Henrik stepped aside to reveal Serena to the cameras, placing a hand of reassurance on her shoulder. Bernie wished it could be her there with her, but Serena had insisted that she be here. She also said that she would be nervous enough with the cameras without having to worry about the whole nation seeing her getting hot under the collar, knowing what Bernie was wearing today.

'Thank you Mr Hannsen. This campaign was started, in part, because I lost my daughter at the beginning of this year. She got into a car while under the influence of cocaine, nearly killed her cousin and eventually lost her own life' Serena's head bowed to hide her tears, quickly wiping them away and clearing her throat.

'Nobody, including myself, recognised the symptoms of her usage, and therfore we weren't able to prevent this. But, after the ruling today, teachers in both secondary schools and universities will be trained to recognise the symptoms of drug abuse. There will also be a national awareness campaign on a multimedia platform showing the dangers of drug abuse.' Everybody in the room was so focused on Serena, it seemed as though no one was even breathing.

'I lost my Ellie because nobody around her saw the signs. It is my hope- my deepest wish that somebody's child can be saved because the people around them can see what they are doing to themselves. Thank you very much.' As Serena turned away, the entire room broke into applause, various people hugging Bernie as Jason switched off the television,  cutting the news presenter off mid-sentence. 

Fourty minutes later, Henrik and Serena walked in to cheers and a round of applause. Serena was subjected to many kisses and hugs as she made her way into the room, until she finally saw who she wanted. She rushed up to Bernie, throwing her arms around her neck and kissing her. She squealed as Bernie lifted her up and spun her around. 

'I am so proud of you' she said hotly in Serena's ear, as Serena sheepishly grinned. With that,  they shared another kiss and set off to mingle. They first went to see Dom and Will- they'd been together for nearly four months and were considering moving in together. Bernie and Serena had thoroughly vetted him after the last sleezeball, and we're quite content that he worshipped the ground Dom walked on- not only that, he'd pushed Dom to get to the next stage, and he had been promoted to registra for his hard work (Hannsen had also been a big part of this, insisting that needed to recognise his own capabilities). The two couples hugged and moved on. 

Bernie and Serena had spotted their targets, and set off separately to complete their own little mission. Bernie tapped Jac on the shoulder, offering her a top up of wine.

'She did well' Jac said loudly over the noisy crowd.

'She did- I couldn't be more proud of her' even Jac Naylor didn't doubt this, as Bernie's face literally lit up as she spoke about her.

'You're lucky that you love each other so much. A lot of people can't find that' Bernie followed Jac's eyeline to where Zosia was talking to Serena.

'Shame about Valentine having to leave like that. How's Zosia coping?'

'Hmm? Oh, yeah, um- she's fine. She's strong. She'll live without him'

'Someone that young and beautiful shouldn't be on their own,  don't you think?'

'No. She deserves better' Jac sounded wistful and distant. Bernie leaned in to her, placing her hand of her shoulder and saying into her ear:

'The worst she can say is no, but I don't think she will. Ask her out' Jac looked shocked by this, but Bernie just grinned and walked away. A moment later, she gave a double thumbs up to Serena, who reciprocated. They found Jac and Zosia snogging in the downstairs loo two hours later as everyone was leaving.

The night was happy, with Fletch showing Serena the video he took of everyone's applause after her speech. Hannsen shared a hug with both Bernie and Serena, while handing them both a gift. They laughed at how terribly awkward he looked doing so. Cam and Morven were nervously flirting, not that Bernie had noticed of course. It was a perfect Christmas eve.

As the last of the guests finally cleared out, Bernie and Serena breathed a sigh of relief. With the kids help, the mess was cleaned up within half an hour. Everyone went to bed early, with Morven sleeping over (again, Bernie most certainly, absolutely did not know about this. And she definitely hadn't passed condoms to her son, causing him to flush bright red.)

As the bedroom door finally shut, the couple grinned at one another.

'Freshen up, and see you in five?' They both nodded, Serena using her en suite and Bernie using the toilet on the landing. She quickly pulled off her clothes,  stifling a giggle at her reflection. She pulled on the red 'fuck-me heels', as Serena called them, and the tiny lingerie, nightie thing- it didn't matter that she was wearing it, Bernie still didn't have a clue what it was. After brushing her teeth and spraying deodorant, she popped her head around the bathroom door to make sure there were no wondering children. Coast clear, she quickly rushed over to their bedroom, fluffed up her hair and went in. 

Serena was led on the bed on her side, wearing a very sheer nightie. Even with her eyes, Bernie could already see the dusty pink nipples straining against the fabric, and the dark thatch of hair between her legs, making her mouth go dry. Serena was thinking much the same of Bernie, dressed in the red velvet dress that displayed delicious cleavage, and the white fur that cut off just below her arse, teasing what lay beneath. The sexy Mrs Clause outfit had been bought as a joke, but Bernie made it look utterly sinful. 

 'Can I sit on your knee, Mrs Clause?' Serena asked cheekily

'Dressed like that, you can sit wherever you bloody-well like'

'Believe me, I will'. Serena straddled one of Bernie thighs as she kissed her deeply. She raked her fingers through her hair before nipping at her lip, drawing a gasp. As their tongues met, and Serena's centre persistently ground down on Bernie's thigh, Bernie pulled away to clamp her lips on Serena's nipple through the material. As more of Serena's juices spread onto Bernie's thigh, she suddenly stepped away. 

'Lie back on the bed with your legs spread-keep the shoes on' Bernie felt herself gush at Serena's commanding tone and quickly obeyed. Serena stood at the bottom of the bed, watching her fight the urge to try and touch herself or Serena. Even after all this time together, Bernie still felt incredibly vulnerable spread open like this.

Finally, Serena moved, coming to kneel by Bernie's feet. She kissed and licked her way up Bernie’s thousand mile legs, leaving little nips along the way until Bernie was panting. Deliberately laying down of her so that their breasts and cunts were only separated by the fabric of their lingerie, Serena whispered hotly in her:

'I want you to tell me what you want me to do to you Bern'

'I want you to fuck me' Bernie gasped, blushing as she said the words.

'How?' Bernie looked daunted, but knew why Serena was doing this. She had helped her to be able to able to talk to other people, and she wanted that in their bed too. So Bernie would do for Serena what she always did: whatever she wanted.

'I want you to- to fuck me with your fingers' Bernie began as Serena laved her tongue around the shell of her ear, before gently blowing on it, sending a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

'I want to be dripping onto your hand as you rub my clit' Serena pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her neck, her tongue dancing over the pulse point as she pulled down the straps of the dress.

'I want to cum all over your fingers and you lick it off' Serena moaned as her tongue massaged the stiff peak of Bernie's breast, causing the woman beneath her to rite on the bed.

'And then what?' Serena promted as kissed a line down Bernie's scar, while bringing her hand down to glide through her wet slit. 

'I, uh- you would turn around so that I can see how wet you are' Serena moaned again, moving her fingers quickly over Bernie's clit. Both women were panting know, and Serena was know fucking her in earnest. Bernie was getting close, so Serena pushed two fingers into her, while attempting to manoeuvre herself into the position Bernie had described. She eventually managed it, and was met with the sight of Bernie's soaked slit. As she pushed her two fingers back in, and began to trace Bernie's clit with her tongue, Bernie mirrored these actions on Serena. It wasn't long before their movements became more frantic, more urgent. Bernie came with a stifled scream, tipping Serena over the edge as Bernie's gushed all over her hand. 

Exhausted,  they lay in bed barely awake, covered in sweat, giggling at their outfits. They kissed each other before switching off the lights, and waiting to see what Christmas day would hold for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most explicit kind of thing that I've written, so I hope it's not totally ridiculous. I'm in two minds as to whether to keep the bedroom scene in, so I'll wait and see what you lovely folks think.


	18. The First Christmas-part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on from the last chapter; Bernie and Serena have some special presents for each other.

'Auntie Serena! Bernie-it's Christmas!' Jason stood at the foot of their bed, and an excited smile reaching from ear to ear. Serena snuggled deeper into Bernie's chest, pretending not to hear him, but Bernie started poking her until she moved, just as excited as Jason. 

As Serena finally sat up, Jason rushed downstairs to arrange the presents in the correct order for opening (arranged by the importance of relationship- acquaintances first and close friends last). The couple shared a kiss before each reaching under their pillows.

'Merry Christmas, love' Bernie said with a smile presenting her gift.

'Merry Christmas'. Serena tore into her gift with the giddiness of a child, and Bernie watched her with a grin. Serena laughed as she saw the embroidered design of a glass of wine and the phrase 'you had me at Shiraz' stitched on to the back of a fluffy dressing gown.

'Bern- I love it!' Serena chuckled, kissing her, then pulling it on.

'Go on- open yours' Bernie nodded, trying to hide her proud smile, delighted that she had pleased Serena. She slipped her finger underneath the edge of of the wrapping paper, being careful not to tear the paper, which made Serena sighed in mock exasperation. She let out a barking laughter as she opened her huge hoodie that proclaimed 'I'm only happy with a cuppa in my hand, a fag in my mouth and my girlfriend in my...'.

'Oh I am  _so_ wearing this at work!' Bernie laughed, kissing Serena's cheek.

'Well you can certainly in front of that Jackie- she has been flirting with you no end. Consider this me marking my territory'  

Jason heard them laughing coming down the stairs before he saw them. He presented them both with a steaming cup of coffee, and they all dug into their generous piles. 

Half an hour later, they only had each others presents left to open. Before the started, though, Bernie and Jason stopped Serena. 

'Before you open your presents, we've both got some presents for you to open upstairs' Serena nodded, following Bernie upstairs withe Jason behind her. She was confused as Bernie led her into Elanore's room until she saw the small pile of presents on Ellie's bed.

'We thought it might be good for Ellie to be included.' Serena began crying silently as she looked at the pile, pulling Jason and Bernie into a tight hug. 

'Thank you- thank you so much. It means so much to me that you both understand- she's still in our family. She isn't forgotten'. Serena opened the presents- a teddy, a book, some makeup and a photo album filled with pictures of Ellie and Serena- still crying softly but smiling all the while. She carefully put the new teddy next to Ellie's old favourite, bozy, who had been positioned as if he was holding Ellie's ashes. 

They went back downstairs and first opened Jason's presents. Serena was delighted with the wine, chocolates and a bottle of her favourite perfume that he had carefully selected. Bernie was also touched by the documentary boxset on pioneering female military doctors throughout history that he had bought her. Bernie and Serena both had the other's present on them, and flipped a coin to see who would give first, which Bernie won. She then presented Serena with a plain white envelope.

'Please don't open it until I've explained' Bernie said quickly as Serena went to open it. 

'This is technically a present for all of us, but mostly for the two of you. That envelope contains six tickets: three to a big comic book convention, where we're going to be meeting a few actors from doctor who and some other shows we like. And yes- that Redgrave woman who you think looks like me will be there Jason, so I'll finally be able to prove you wrong' Jason was thrilled and rushed to give Bernie a hug, thanking her profusely. Serena also mouthed her thanks behind Jason's back.

'The other three tickets are slightly more important. Seeing as the convention is in New York, it's probably a rather good idea that I've booked us in for a week long stay in Manhattan, and that the plane tickets are currently in your hand' Serena gasped at this and began crying happily.

'The only thing is- we'll be away for the anniversary. I might be massively overstepping my mark here, but I know you said that Ellie wanted to move to New York as soon as she could, and I thought that maybe it would be the perfect place to spread her ashes' Serena looked at Bernie in complete awe, unable to speak for a moment.

'This is- No, you.  _You_ are so perfect' Serena whispered pulling Bernie into a crushing hug. 

'It also makes me really happy that this is what I picked for you' Bernie looked confused for a split second until she saw the ring that Serena was holding out to her. This time it was Bernie who was lost for words as she looked at Serena in pure shock.

'Will you marry me, Bernie?'

As soon as she heard the words, Bernie saw the future they could have in her head: Serena walking down an aisle towards her, them sharing a name, a lifetime of waking up, going to work, doing a weekly shop and going to sleep all the most boring activities life could offer. All of them made absolutely glorious because they were done with the love of her life; because they were done with Serena Campbell.

'Yes'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! The next chapter will probably be the last.  
> And thank you so much for all your lovely comments- they absolutely make my day when I see them, and I'm so happy that you've enjoyed the story so far!


	19. The First Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Campbell-Wolfe family spend the first anniversary of Elinor's death in new York.

'I don't look like her' Bernie whined as they moved towards the end of the queue.

'Yes you do' Serena and Jason said in unison.

'You'll see- when I'm stood next to her, I look nothing like her'. Serena smiled while shaking her head. They had reached the end of the queue,  and the burly security guard waved them into the room.  

Bernie went in first, smiling smugly without looking at the woman in front of her. When she turned her head, she stopped dead.

'Oh-' Bernie and the woman said at the same time, looking slightly awed. Then, Jemma shook her head and the three of them stood with her. Serena and Bernie held hands with Jemma placing her arm around Bernie and Jason on the other side. Everyone was beaming, bar Bernie who was staring deeply at Jemma, utterly fascinated.

After the photograph was taken, Serena burst out laughing. 

' I'm sorry- my girlfriend was so convinced that she looked nothing like you. The first time I put a picture of us on Facebook,  I had ten different people asking me where I'd met Jemma Redgrave' Bernie's face was bright red and she tried not to look the actress in the face.

'I must say, the resemblance is just a bit scary- I'm a bit worried that we were twins separated at birth- actually, would you mind having a picture with me-?' Jemma said smiling kindly.

'Bernie. And, it's fine I guess' Bernie mumbled shyly.  They posed for a selfie and Bernie even accepted Jemma's awkward hug. The security guard hurried them along, so they thanked her and told her that they all adored Kate in Doctor Who ( Serena was a little bit too sincere, Bernie thought wrly).

'My god, you and your famous double in one room- I'll admit my fantasy about this did involve more beds and lingerie and less teenagers and b.o. ' Serena chuckled as they left the convention. Bernie blushed again, while Jason's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, then pulling a face as he understood. 

They went back to their hotel, Jason and Bernie laden down shopping bags, while Serena led the way bag-free and smiling. They went to their own rooms to drop off the bags and get ready.

As it came closer, Serena started anxiously looking at her watch. Bernie spotted her fiddling with it to keep watching the time. She gently took her hand of the watch and held her hands.

'It's OK. We'll leave in a few minutes. You don't have to let her go if you're not ready' 

'She's always with me. And it doesn't feel like letting go- I just want to do it right for her' Bernie held her tightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Fourty minutes later they were in a taxi with Jason.Jason wrung his hands, feeling like he had a year ago. The silence in the car echoed the way it had asked Bernie had pushed him into the Elinor's hospital room. He was sat between Bernie and Serena, and took each of their hands. Serena wrapped her arm around his shoulders and rested her head on his. 

The three of them arrived hand in hand and got into the lift. Edward was waiting for them when they got out with a small smile. The cold wind was biting and snow was falling in the starless night. As the clock struck 1 am, Serena walked up to the barrier and looked over New York.

'This is the perfect place, Serena' Edward conceded, placing a hand on her shoulder.

'It was all Bernie's idea. She always seems to know exactly what me and my family need' Serena smiled up at Bernie, reaching out her hand for her to join her with Edward.

They all stared intently at Serena's watch waiting. Bernie, Jason and Serena all holding hands, with Edward keeping his hand on Serena's shoulder. The seconds seemed to stretch into eternities as they waited, until it finally read 6:12 AM UK time.

Exactly 365 days to the minute since Elinor had died. Serena released Jason's hand to undo the urn, kissing the lid before she did. She took a deep breath, and tipped Elinor's ashes through the fencing on the observation deck. Elinor flew from the Empire state building, mingling with the snow, spreading in every direction to land all over the city. Serena couldn't give her daughter another day, another chance to build memories, but she managed to do this. She let her daughter have her dream of moving to New York.

She, Bernie and Jason all hugged each other tightly with Edward once again looking lost until Bernie pulled him into their embrace. They were all crying, but they weren't sad or mourning. They had given Elinor a kind of life after death; the remains of her body would float throughout the city, exploring in ways they could never anticipate. And she was always with them all. They had built a strong family and she would always be a part of that.

They broke apart, taking one last look at the skyline in the night. They had almost missed it- a shooting star barely visible through the snow for a split second. 'Maybe that was her. Maybe she wanted to say goodbye to us as well' Serena whispered, taking Bernie's hand and running her finger on the ring there. Secretly, Serena whispered to herself that was Elinor telling her it was ok, she wanted her to be happy with Bernie.

 


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later...

'Come on you two! We're going to miss it if you don't hurry up' Jason shouted up the stairs. Bernie quickly ran down the stairs, Serena in her wake. They had donned matching dresses for the occasion, both shiraz-red summer dresses. Bernie typically hated dresses, but she had no hesitations with this one. She felt magical in it, as did Serena. They grinned excitedly at each other and held hands, taking Jason's as well. 

The hired car was parked outside, with the driver dressed smartly holding the door open for them. Jason was excited, his foot tapping as they drove. 

'No second thoughts? Cold feet?' Bernie asked nervously.

'It's a bit late for that, isn't it Bernie. And do you need some socks? I don't think they would look very nice with those shoes, but if you're cold-' Jason stated as Bernie and Serena fought to hide their smiles.

'Good point, Jason' Bernie said, her voice full of mirth.

They pulled up outside the offices where Cam, Lottie and Morven were waiting for them. They all chatted excitedly, exchanging numerous hugs and kisses. They only stopped when they were called in. 

 

Half an hour later, the party came out grinning.

'How do you feel? New name, new you? ' Cam asked with a cheeky grin.

'I am exactly the same, it's just that now my name more accurately represents which family I belong to'

'Well come on then, let's see it!' Jason pulled out the piece of paper which stated in bold letters that he was now Jason Campbell-Wolfe. He grinned proudly as he showed off the form. What he didn't see Bernie's proud tears.

 

They had got married quickly, having a small wedding with all their friends and family. The whole day had been magical, with the kids planning a perfect spring-themed wedding, where Bernie and Serena's hair had been delicately adorned with flowers, and the pair of them wearing matching royal blue lace and satin gowns to match the trauma unit scrubs. They had been Mrs and Mrs Campbell-Wolfe for three months now. They had both been taken aback when Jason had asked to take their hyphened name abruptly over breakfast. 

'Ever since Mum died, you've been a second mum to me Auntie Serena and so have you Bernie. I'm proud to be your unofficial child, and I want everybody to know that. I still love Mum, it's just that I'm part of a new family now and want to share the family name like any other family' Bernie and Serena had both burst into tears at this, overwhelmed and moved by Jason's words. But Bernie was especially moved- she had never even been able to imagine her own children wanting her for a mother until she met Serena, and now Jason wanted to recognise her as well as Serena.

They all drove back to Albie's after Jason had signed paperwork, where Henrik had arranged a celebration. All of the staff had come to celebrate. Zosia dragged Jac by the hand to greet the Campbell-Wolfes. Jac couldn't hide her smile at Zosia's excitement, or the fact that she loved to always have Jac in half-hug when out in public, with her hand resting comfortably on her hip. And even Jac told Jason that he had done a lovely thing today, regardless of the fact that it was also a logical step for him. Henrik very much agreed with this statement, and handed Jason a special book about birds, remembering how Jason had taken to assigning birds to people when they had first met.

Dom and Will were also thrilled for the family. They had been together for nearly a year and they were completely in love with each other; they had never seen Dom so confident and proud of both his work and his partner. While he was getting drinks, Will showed Bernie and Serena the pair of rings he had bought to propose to Dom with (he wanted them each to have a ring so that they would be totally equal in every way). He was waiting for Dom's birthday two weeks later to pop the question, though Bernie certainly doubted that he would be able to hold for that long, given his excitement and the adoring looks he sent at Dom when he wasn't looking. 

Even Cam and Morven had just started dating and were completely loved up (also far too into public displays of affection for Bernie's liking). Zosia had also worked wonders on Jac, as Serena smiled as she spotted her hugging her little sister. Finally, Henrik took the microphone from the Karaoke machine.

'I shan't bore with a long speech, as everyone in this room knows and loves these people. I need not express how much they love one another, how selflessly they give their time and care to others, how they excel in all they do. We all understand this about them because they have improved the lives of everyone in the room in one way or another. Instead, I would ask you to raise your glasses for the Campbell-Wolfes.'

Bernie, Serena, Jason, Cam and Lottie all stood in front of their friends smiling proudly.

'The Campbell-Wolfes' the room echoed.

Serena then pulled Bernie into a deep kiss in front of everyone to a round of applause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to get the ending up- it's been a bit crazy with work and health problems. But this was a totally sentimental ending that I really hope you enjoy. I've loved seeing all the comments on the story- they make so glad that I tried something new with this and really make my day.  
> Thank you so much! x

**Author's Note:**

> A continuation of two stories that I wrote on Tumblr (Captainjackspoilers) following the death of Elinor.


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